The group makes their way down to the base of the mountain. Gourd overhears some arguing in the thick jungle and cautions the group to move silently. Mopuck cast an invisibility sphere and the group approaches. They come upon an old paladin of Ion yelling at his squire at a small campsite.
"I am telling you, there is evil in that thick jungle" he shouts, "Sure there is Sir Lewis" the squire says. "Just relax and drink your soup"....
Rasa approaches and starts up a friendly conversation. "Sir Lewis Hensworth XII of the Abbey Isle, last of his name" is properly introduced to Rasa by the squire. Before long the rest of the group emerges, and despite some of the group being "evil", the old Paladin invites them for some Tea.
"Percy, get the good cups and spoons!" shouts the Paladin. "Percy has been dead 20 years sir Lewis" the squire snaps. " I am you new squire now, Lucandor Ferinoth, remember?".... "Yes, yes, I suppose."
Sir Lewis asks for help in getting to the ruins of Mithra as they have gotten a bit lost. Wurm and Sir Lewis draw up a contract and the group agrees to the quest.
Randy asks Lucandor to take a walk and they leave camp to get firewood. Randy tries to put the moves on him, but the squire is steadfast in his holy ways.
Meanwhile the old Paladin falls asleep after his tea. Mopuck fills his armor with blueberries and apricots as a fun joke.
The paladin eventually wakes up and stands up and the blueberry and apricot mush pours out of the coif of his armor, all over his turkey neck fat. He seems quite confused and scared. He stumbles, and faints. Lucandor comes to his aid and removes his armor to clean him up. While he is doing this, Randy wraps a noose around his neck and hangs him in the campsite, just like Percy, Sir Lewis' previous squire who also hung himself 20 years ago. The group leaves before the Paladin regains consciousness.
The front horse gets killed by a massive spear out of nowhere. They find Queen Sura, Mopuck's old friend. She apologizes for killing the horse. They make it to the ruins of Mithra and take shelter in the dome of an old cathedral during a wicked hurricane.
The hurricane washed away a bunch of soil around the base of the ruin and reveals a set of steps leading down. They find a door at the bottom with the symbol of Ion and enter. Mopuck creates some skeletons to set off any traps. Abe moves further in and he also falls through a pit trap...
Well I don't think one will ever forget seeing a man being hung/lynched above an unconscious half naked elderly man covered in crushed blueberries. Things like that will tend to stay with you for life.
ReplyDeleteI hate deep mud puddles. I can't believe I stumbled and knocked myself out on a change. In front of an Amonzonian Queen no less.
I knew I sensed evil. But I have learned that by being a good Paladin requires restraint. Working with all people is the righteous thing and need to be treated with respect, especially when it comes to a cup of tea. "Percy, the good napkins, not these oily rags! We have Guests!"
ReplyDeleteThankfully the rope snaps (a "14" rope use check that already lynched one human doesn't hold up so well with a man in full plate armor on the second time around). Sir Lewis painstakingly digs a proper grave and buries his squire. He preforms all proper rites of passage as per Ion and cries during the whole ceremony. He stomps out the last embers of the fire and follows the tracks of the wagon.
Delete"My faith was challenged today by impure thoughts. I was tempted, but my faith in Ion is strong. I must gather firewood and attend to my master.
ReplyDeleteOh no, did he soil himself? No, its just chunks of Berries and Apricots... What the hell is going on. Ok, off with this breastplate old man and let me get you cleaned up..... UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Maybe you should have just taken a hot shot to the butt and you'd still be around to clean up more mush for your master. Where was Ion ?
DeleteWow!, Just Wow! Murdering bastard!
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